Being approached by a colleague/supervisor with criticism or feedback about your behaviour may be difficult, particularly if you feel that you have not done anything to offend/disrespect the other person.
Even though criticism is uncomfortable and often hard to hear, we should view it as an opportunity to enhance awareness of our behaviours/actions and how these are perceived by those around us. It is also critical that these feedback conversations remain positive and productive.
For the criticism to be constructive, the person providing the feedback should be motivated by the desire to improve the working relationship and have a productive, cooperative, and collaborative relationship between colleagues. Criticism should not be frivolous or vindictive.
Suggestions for responding to criticism from others:
- Relax and listen carefully without interrupting the other person.
- Do not become defensive or jump to conclusions.
- Paraphrase what you heard to let them know you have heard them and understood their perspective. This does not mean that you agree.
- Ask for clarification or examples if the criticism is vague or unclear. For instance, if the say “you don’t care about people” ask for specific examples so that you can understand.
- Keep an open mind and try to imagine their perspective. Remember that if they have approached you with an issue, it is important to them.
- Look for a “grain of truth” in the criticism, take ownership of your behaviour, and express your desire to find a solution.
- If the criticism is fair, ask for specific suggestions.
- If you believe that the criticism is unfounded/unfair or that your behaviour may have been misunderstood, share your perspective using “I” statements.
- Sometimes, it may also be helpful to share your reaction to the criticism. For example, “It’s not easy to hear criticism, but I can see how my actions could be misinterpreted as…”
- Agree on a solution for moving forward.