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Practice Self-Compassion

If you find that you tend to be hard on yourself, you are not alone. Many students struggle with self-criticism and self-judgment academically and in their personal lives. That harsh inner voice can be loud and persistent, and you may find that it has something to say about many different areas of your life, your work, and your identity. Trying to cope with stressors while dealing with self-criticism can be exhausting and feel defeating.  

One powerful strategy for shifting your inner dialogue away from self-criticism is to get purposeful about practicing self-compassion. According to Dr. Kristin Neff (2003), self-compassion is a healthier, more mindful way of relating to ourselves and our emotions. A self-compassionate mindset involves three components:

  • Self-Kindness. Responding to your emotions and needs with gentleness, kindness, and understanding rather than judgment, just like you would respond to a friend who is hurting.

  • Common Humanity. Recognizing that you are not alone in your experience and that other people have felt the way you are feeling. You emotions are part of the shared human experience.

  • Mindfulness. Noticing and being with your emotions in a purposeful way through a gentle and non-judgmental lens.

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To learn more about self-compassion, you can visit Dr. Kristin Neff's website where you'll find more information about how you can incorporate self-compassion in your own life, as well as audio guided practices and exercises for building self-compassion skills.

You can also visit the Centre for Mindful Self-Compassion to access additional resources for your self-compassion practice.

Remember that your inner critic has developed over time, often in response to many different experiences you've had throughout your life. It can take some time and practice to bring in a more compassionate voice and it's normal to fall back into self-criticism at times. Whenever you notice this happening, don't beat yourself up for it (you're building a self-compassion practice, after all!). Respond to that critical voice with curiosity rather than judgement, acknowledge that you hear what it's saying and understand that it's trying to help, and then work to purposefully bring some kindness back in.

If you're finding that self-criticism is interfering with your well-being, reach out for support!

 

Reference:

Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude towards oneself. Self and Identity, 2, 85–101. doi: 10.1080/15298860390129863